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Old Dec 03, 2014, 05:10 PM
agatha9 agatha9 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Posts: 79
Big Bear: please don't let others' experiences keep you from seeking help. You are completely right: if you think therapy will help you, it will. I believe it all depends on you and how you confront these things. It's very hard to open up and confess your "sins", it's hard like hell opening the worst of yourself to someone, but it's much easier when you open up to a stranger. Please tell your therapist that what you most want is peace and forgiveness, that what you need is to grow spiritually and personally.

I'll try to buy that book. I also believe that healing is a matter of faith. If you have faith in therapy, it will work. If you have real faith in God, prayer will help. If I have faith in music, singing might help. So, I think I need something I can really put my faith in to make it work. Problem is I don't believe in therapy. I also don't believe in prayer. My believes are a mess right now. What I trust the most is the mind, like by thinking properly and being honest to myself I will be able to find some peace. Once again, problem is not fooling myself because I don't want to admit that I did what I did out of a simple whim. As I said, I always did what I wanted, not caring about the consequences. Now I have to deal with them. I and only I am responsible for feeling like this right now.

My question now would be like "yeah, I get it, it was my choice, I'm the one to blame, I am responsible for having done so much wrong and for feeling this way, yeah, what now? I take the blame, but what do I do with it?" Easy answer: don't do it again. Tricky question: what do I do with my guilt? How can I transform it to make it be kind of a fuel for being a better person?

If your therapist gives you some insight on this, please please share with us! I know you will be fine, I truly believe you will take the best out of this painfull and shamefull moment and you will grow to a beautiful human being!