Got this, Big Bear! Your subsequent post explained where you were coming from.

I know a woman who lives and works with Lupus and seems to be doing fine. She is married, but does not have children. She is Mexican and she told me that she goes back to Mexico, she gets raised eyebrows because being childless as a choice is not culturally appropriate for a woman there. Because she told me that, I conclude that for her being childless is a choice (she is in her late 40s) and not a result of having Lupus, but I do not know her THAT well to probe further. She does a lot of alternative things - Ayuervedic medicine, nutrition, many things - and it seems that they are helping her stay well and active. She works a lot and the job is demanding. She is very generous with advice and if your gf wants info on alternative treatments for Lupus, I can ask my friend, but right now 3 wks from being dx'd only I doubt that your gf is in position to compare conventional and alternative approaches. But at any rate, if later she develops that interest, shoot me a PM and I will ask my friend for a list of resources.