Servo, the only thing I have ever found that I can change is my own attitude. Sorry but I am not good at anything but that. Everyone I tried to change has resisted my efforts. Only me can I change in basic attitudes.
Okay so here I am in the middle of all this confusion. How can I find a little piece of peace inside. A refuge. That is how I would proceed. The choice is yours how you will proceed. Maybe you need to do more research before you can be sure which way to head.