I've been suffering from depression since I was very young but wasn't diagnosed until I was admitted when I was 18. I always kept my thoughts to myself or my animals and when I did slip I would lie and get myself out of the mess I created. About a year ago I was hit with the realization that I wasn't going to get better by myself and started to talk to a family member who knows I'm struggling but I can't seem to tell her anything, I still go back to lying to myself that I'm fine. And these past two months I have just wanted to start crying for no reason at work, and I work with wonderful two year old's. I guess right now I need help with getting me to allow myself to receive the help I need from someone who truly cares about me and wants to see me happy.