I haven't been diagnosed with avpd or anything but it pretty much describes my whole life. I'm 16 & homeschooled too. I feel the same way you do. I would like to be able to be social & make friends without all of these problems but at the same time I don't have the desire to make friends. Sometimes I think I only want friends because people expect me to have them & I don't want to be looked down for not having any. The thought of cutting off contact is enticing to me too. I'd like to learn to be a HAPPY & CONTENT loner instead of a miserable one who can't function in the world.