thank you for bringing this up, the thoughts in the original post and subsequent replies have been helpful.

i was recently diagnosed and the more my meds work, the easier it becomes to see that much of my life and choices were also based on delusions.

i hope it gets easier and that i can forgive myself and move forward. i also don't know how to do life or what a normal person's normal day consists of, i've been this way for so long.