I'm sorry you're so sad. ): And I'm sorry you don't have insurance.
It helps me to research about psychology. And it also helps me to say to myself "oh, my brain wiring is off, I feel sad right now, for no reason, because my seratonin is off. It's gonna be okay. It's the depression. That's all it is, not ME."
I also heard that bipolar disorder is epilepsy in the emotional part of your brain, which I find very useful information in a way. I feel like that logic could be used for depression as well. It's my brain, not me.