All of these other posts are correct - there is NO EXCUSE for harming someone, regardless of any psychological problem. My husband is depressed (as I am) but I have never harmed him. In the past he used to get physical with me and I have my own problems dealing with that but lately it is all verbal. And, yes, I forgive him in my heart because to harbor resentment only creates more problems. I am working with my T on these issues - how to relate to him in order not to set him off. Most of the time we get along fine but when he sinks down I am aware and stay out of his way. I am slowly learning with the help of my T how to deal with my own anger and frustration from childhood abuse but after 33 years with my husband I am unwilling to give up on our relationship. We still have a lot of fun and laughter together when he is not depressed. But the decision to stay or go ultimately rests with you. You have to weigh out all the good points and all the bad points and see where the balance lies. To feel compassion is good but don't confuse the compassion for passivity and stay in an abusive relationship that could cause you serious harm. Talk to your T about all of this. Try to get your mate to go into therapy. And BE CAREFUL not to put yourself at risk. All of us who suffered childhood abuse are vulnerable to either being victims or abusers ourselves. I had chosen to be a victim but with the help of my T I am gradually becoming neither - but a person in my own right with the right to demand of others their respect for me as a separate human being.

The vision of your goodness will sustain me through the cold
Take my hand now to remember when you find yourself alone
You are never alone… (John Denver)
Mars