... I can empathize about loosing someone that's very special in your support system... I also know how "I just feel now I will always be lonely. My confidence is rather low - the worst it has ever been. I cannot be around anyone now, without feeling anxious and struggling to breathe calmly." feels...
It will get better, and it will mend .. you may never have those same special people in your life, but the pain will mend... may take some time... a lot of time... but IT WILL GET BETTER. probably not instantly as we may want it to be... but it also lets us know what not to take for granted when the "clouds"(depression) do lift.