I fully believe the incident was due to both being drunk and needing to boost his ego.

The child was with a close friend from 6 weeks to 13 months before we put her in a daycare school. My husband is a self employed contractor. He would have a day here and there but nothing steady. Having the baby with a friend allowed us the flexibility to only pay for care when he did have work.

I get up at 4:30 am. I work 6- 3:30 and go pick up the child from daycare. He gets up around 7 and gets the child ready and himself and drops her off around 8:30 and works until somewhere between 6 and 7pm depending on the day's work and in the summer could work even later. So we have our evenings together after the child goes to bed, but usually by then he is on the couch watching TV and I am running around picking things up, packing lunches, setting the coffee pot, and getting things ready for the next day. By the time I shower and lay down, I am ready to pass out. For the longest time he wasn't even coming to bed to even try for intimacy or be close. We got in a fight about it because at that point I was fed up and like what is the point of us being married if we are basically just going to be co-parenting with no relationship or communication ourselves. He has been coming to bed most nights now, whether we just lay together or actually are going to have sex. Part of the fight was that he never initiates sex with me now. How do I know he's attracted to me and wants to get it on if he never initiates it? When we were younger he couldn't keep his hands off of me. Now I am lucky if he touches me without me jumping on him first. This is part of the reason I can't get those messages out of my mind. He was so willing to climb in her bed and the messages were explicitly describing details of what he did with her. Fast forward to today and it hurts that he doesn't still initiate sex with me.

I am going to figure out a way to bring up if he likes the woman I have become or if he would rather me be the naive and needy 19 year old I was when he met me. When we met he was the breadwinner. I was in college and he was building houses. Things were a lot simpler then. I graduated from college and built my career and started needing him less and less. Eventually he needed me. Now that we are both gainfully employed, neither of us really needs anything from the other except love and we're not doing very good at it.