The trouble is, I still need my support. It makes my day. But how can I trust them? They pretend to agree with my statements, then they all grass me up or say I will get kicked out of my flat if I invite escorts in, when that is none of their beeswax.

That time I feared arrest on 13 August, I was talking to a Sarah Lumsden and she hung up on me to tell a senior I had 'broke my bail terms' by messaging Joanna and Sara. I was scared and all she did was hang up. They were largely ignoring me on things like their Facebook and work e-mail addresses, but I used to put a lot of trust in them.

They would blab but never forewarn me they had to report something I blurted out on a shift or sleepover, and it has got worse, but that is because now that I don't take my support and the judge slapped me with restraining orders, they now act like no-one has to bother helping me. I guess pain can heal; I think so, but it takes ages. They acted like spies.

It feels to me they only care about getting paid.