Quote:
Originally Posted by AngstyLady
I know I mentioned this in a previous post and so I found the article, here it is:
2. Polarized Thinking (or “Black and White” Thinking).
In polarized thinking, things are either “black-or-white.” We have to be perfect or we’re a failure — there is no middle ground. You place people or situations in “either/or” categories, with no shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people and situations. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
4. Jumping to Conclusions.
Without individuals saying so, we know what they are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, we are able to determine how people are feeling toward us.
For example, a person may conclude that someone is reacting negatively toward them but doesn’t actually bother to find out if they are correct. Another example is a person may anticipate that things will turn out badly, and will feel convinced that their prediction is already an established fact.
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Cognitive distortions work, because one distortion brings about another. Starting from
polarized thinking (for example)
going through
jumping to conclusions
and then
trying to use familiar scheme
one tries to elicit black or white response (effect of polarized thinking) from someone to close the deal, to gratify oneself immediately (to get rid of insecurity).
Chain can be very long and distortions intertwining. Pushing the other person, who isn't accustomed to polarized thinking, into polarized thinking most often ends up with categorical response.
Results:
- conviction that one's prediction is already an established fact
- performance falls short of perfect
- you see yourself as a total failure
- 'I'm stupid'.
-----------------
-I'm stupid.[conviction/black]
-I have no reason not to trust your judgement. You know yourself better that I know you.
-Do you really think I'm stupid?[doubt/white]
-Truth is I think nothing, because I don't know you well enough.
-Should I believe that?[uncertainty]
-Up to you.
-Is that all you have for me after what I've been through so you could get to know me?! [sulking, insecurity]
-Yes, that is all.
-[violent reaction]-->I'm stupid. You're stupid. Everybody is stupid.