I think that I lately have confronted my T and that has been interesting and empowering but yet I recall him asking me how I felt at one point last week with my arms folded across my chest. I told him I feel powerless ...meaning in the room and in the relationship...and many ways I do/did.

I suppose I do understand what you mean about going in to a different corner. Sometimes I can do that and sometimes that is more difficult but I suppose I get around to getting there..lol...even if angy.

If I feel disempowered sometimes in t as well as in life in general I sometimes feel like retracting myself from life and all that it means and holds. I want to get in to a teeny tiny ball....maybe umbillical... sometimes smaller and more solid than that. To get out of that is a struggle and takes myself reaching out of the ball and asking for help or a diversion.

I think that the last time we battled in therapy I felt like he at least told me that by our arguing and clarifying we were working to get on the same side...to do deep work. The idea that he told me that gave me hope and I have been much better this week. Now tomorrow is the next meeting... and then 2 weeks. He has not decided how often he will see me after that. Like... I am not sure I have any input.... doubtful and I will disagree with him... I think. So... there we go again...as I will feel distanced again... or not ... all based on his answer. And sometimes I will feel powerless and like I am good or bad or ... I hate this....