I don´t know how long you´ve been in therapy but if it´s only some months it´s natural feeling this way, even if you´ve been in therapy for a year or more. Perhaps you already knew this.

I´ve experienced the exact same thing, I thought about loads of things between sessions but when in session I felt a bit hindered by the therapy itself. I also think it´s a way to protect yourself from being hurt and from the thought that your T will judge you if you cry.

I was terminated a short time ago and I´d then never been crying in therapy. I think it would had happen but probably after a long time in therapy. Hard to say.

But an interesting thing happened when I´m now about to find a new T. I am much more vulnerable at the time as my former T terminating me made me feel very abandoned and I also really miss her. I still cry over the fact I won´t see her again, well not in therapy anyway.

I went to a potential new T and just after a few minutes I started to cry but I hadn´t intend to do so. Perhaps it was because I unconciously and quite immediately knew I would not continue seeing this T and then it didn´t matter anymore if I showed her such feelings.

With that I want to say that I understand how hard it is to show feelings in therapy and even harder to let yourself cry but even if this new T I met didn´t know me at all I got a respectful reception from her. She gave me some handkerchiefs and just sat waiting for me to be able to talk. If felt embarrasing but was a way to "try out" how you can relate to a T in a more genuine and emotional manner.

Perhaps you know this as already but I would like to put a small "warning sign" to this matter. I think you should ask yourself if you think this has to do with the T him- or herself, the fact that you can´t show that much emotions or honesty in therapy. Or perhaps you´ve attended therapy earlier on and knows you´ll eventually will show emotions, it´s just a process you have to go through before you do.

I would also think that the Ts´responsibility is to help you show emotions and being honest, if you mostly talk without showing emotions he or she should notice that and in a gentle way help you talk. If he or she doesn´t and just let you talk without getting into a more profound level in therapy, I think you should think about changing T. Just giving some advice, I don´t know the whole picture of course.