I have always had low self steam , insecure , shy and so on ..

I really do not know how to fix this problem because I deal with voices in my head that tell me negative things all the time .

It's like a dark cloud over me and when it dose go away it comes back and reminds me that I am not good .

I don't feel comfortable when I hear compliment , matter of fact I hate it because it just reminds me of how much of a loser I am .

I have never had a desire to do anything in life , I just feel dead inside .
I get so angry because I feel my life is a road block and whenever I do try to do something it's like climbing a hill and I fall back down .

I had big plan when I moved a year ago
1 - Make friends
I made a few friends but it didn't work out

2 - Find a job
No one wants to hire a 45 year old woman who only finished HS and has not worked in 19 years . I am very limited to what I ca do

So so far my plans failed so much for write down what you want and it will come true if anything my life this past year has been down hill real fast .

Anyways .. I just needed to write this down