Thanks to all of you for your honesty in this matter. I know some of the therapists with whom I worked ad nauseum did give some valuable feedback and advice...others not so much. Perhaps I was unable to make the internal changes which were no necessary, unable to hear what they were saying. I suspect this happens a lot of the time with counseling.
For the past 8 or so years, I have abstained from seeking counseling, despite some pretty horrific experiences which took extreme focus and willpower to recover from. These were really bad attempts at relationships with men, and as a result, I now am rather reclusive and no longer seek company of men or try to date at all. The thing is...I'm NOT strong, but have learned to be discerning to the point of lacking the energy to even try.
In my mind, this is not a bad thing, since I am having some well-earned peace of mind, and have established a comfortable routine of existence. Yes, as Sky suggested, perhaps I could find a T now with whom I could talk about this "evolution" in my priorities. I have thought about it, but feeling "safe" and somewhat focused on my job and studies, not sure how beneficial it would be to shake things up!
Love
Patty