Please go to the police and say you want to talk to detectives about a sex crime. He took that video by threatening to reveal pictures unless you complied with his demand for oral sex. He is now blackmailing you for sex. That is a sex crime.

If you are afraid of your husband's reaction, go to the police first, especially if your H is a hothead who might try to take matters into his own hands.

You are the victim of a sex crime. If you have an attorney you can trust, go to the attorney and have the attorney arrange for you to make your complaint to the police.

You have been victimized. Please do not allow fear to keep the victimization continuing. I know someone who was threatened in the same way. The police wired her and recorded the perpetrator's coercive threats. They arrested him and he did jail time. Her name was never revealed.

Sex crime detectives are experienced in protecting the victim's identity if it's at all possible. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I don't know if you can prevent your H from finding out. You'll need courage to face this. I hope you will stand up for yourself and put a stop to this blackmail. If going to the police frightens you, please seek out the advice of an attorney specializing in women's issues so you have someone to advocate for you.

I wish you the best.