Welcome to Psych Central Pygm. Sorry to hear you are having relationship problems.
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I mean everyone seems to be enjoying themselves somehow?
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I am not sure about that. If you took a poll at PC, you might find 90% are not enjoying themselves.
What you describe is sexual encounters. But intimacy has little to do with sex the way I define it anyway. Intimacy is about becoming friends, finding common ground, sharing quiet moments together. Not trying to get something from the other person.
Sex without intimacy as I define it has been very unsatisfying for many people I talk to. My opinion is that sex is not the deepest human drive, but to find love, acceptance and compassion and intimacy and trust.
So I don't know what the path is for you, but friends I know have found that making friends is more satisfying and lasting than just sharing physical contact.
No everyone is not enjoying themselves, but a lot of people here at PC are trying to get comfortable in their own skin. Please feel free to come back again. You don't have to relate so many graphic details. People know what you are talking about when you talk about physical relations. Just a thought which could open up more people to enter the discussion.