I have to tell you randman that I have a mother that is very controlling as well. What many people don't understand is that when you grow up with a parent that does not respect your boundaries, that you don't know how to put them up when you are an adult. I'm a people pleaser, but mostly I got that from placating my mom so that she wouldn't go into one of her rages if she didn't get her way. She has trained you so that you have to share everything with her, and it's extremely difficult to break this habit, because it has been a lifelong one.

Suffice it to say that it will be a process for you to try to change your behaviors. You can't change her, but you can change yourself. Reading that book will help you to recognize the patterns that you have fallen into with her, and by recognizing these harmful behaviors you will be able to change them. It won't happen overnight, but it will definitely be worthwhile. You are worth it and I wish you luck.