I am in the middle of loosing my wife of 17 years, she has filed for divorce. She let me back in the house after a couple of days and i have tried very hard to show her I can be the partner and husband she wants. I have had a couple years of bad luck with employment and let myself go and really left her alone even though i was here. I have a beautiful Mexican wife and 4 beautiful kids. This has really woke me up and i feel driven to do better. When i was broken beyond repair i went to church, first time in 10 years, and started praying. I felt better and continue to feel better. I believe God and trust in him to show me how to be a better man. Today she agreed to stay the divorce for 6 months even though she makes it clear that she can not guarantee she will ever love me the way she once did again, and that the circumstances changed her I feel like there is no choice for me but to try to win her back. There is no sex i sleep on the floor in the living room, but she lets me give her massages and i do so without indulging my desires. Its been a month like this me doing most of the cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to and from school. I get close to breaking through the wall that separates us but have not found the way through yet, and don't know that i will. I have felt like she feels from time to time over the years and at times thought divorce was the answer but now that its happening I cannot come to terms with it or let her go without trying everything i can to show her that it wasn't a mistake. I dont want things to return to how they were, I want us to be in love again and to cherish each other and hope that she will find the desire to want the same thing.