Wow...today's been kinda rough. Apart from the clouds and depression I mentioned earlier (which are both still problems). How about let's start that I tossed and turned and tossed and turned last night to finally fall asleep at around 2 am. Fitful sleep. Then woke up at 5:45 AM, couldn't get back to sleep for nothing. My mouth was like a desert and I had to pee really, really bad. So I finally got up at 6:17, waaaay early. My dad still hadn't left for work yet. I watched him leave at shortly after 7. Of course, my mom was asleep still. So I was up alone.

I decided to just stay up because I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep for nothing. Then at around 10:30 I got hit especially hard with depression and...yes, I think it was grief. I ended up sitting on my bed and crying into a hoard of snotty tissues for 30 minutes. Finally I ran dry at just after 11. I was exhausted, in the purest sense of the word. And so I turned out the lights and lied down, and ended up sleeping till 2:45. I could've slept way longer, honestly.

Now it's after 3 and my dad just came back home from work with alcohol. Dear god I hope my nap won't **** up my sleep schedule, that'll be just what I need - even less daylight. I hope they won't fight tonight either, but they probably will. Better to just brace myself for the inevitable than hope for the unlikely.

At this rate it's going to take a miracle to carry me through to Christmas...