I dropped off some questions at my therapist's office today and she was in-between sessions and no one was waiting so I gave them to her personally.

I knelt down and pet her light brown english springer spaniel, while she was writing something and then she turned and saw me. (I guess that is usually how I approach people, wait for them to notice me, so that I'm sure I'm not really bothering them.) Not much really happened there. She was very nice, as was possible with the brief time, and said my beard was really bushy. I don't recall what I said, I think just "yeah". Then I ask her: when you have some leisure time, could you go through these questions.

I gave her several questions. They were basically "Yes/No" and "On a scale of 1 to 10..." questions, so that she can easily just read the questions and circle her answers. I'm not really an "active" client, at least that it how it seems in my mind, so I don't really want to trouble her with my questions.

But when she answers and sends them back, or go back to pick them up (which ever she feels more appropriate)...then I'll call her to work on making an appointment and potential return from my break. But it still isn't certain. the basic purpose of the questions I gave her are to help me gauge (1) our working relationship and (2) my therapy goals and how feasible it is for me to actually accomplish them.

The very last question I asked her in the list was: "Seriously, why do you care what happens to me?"

God, I miss her. It was the first time I laid my eyes on her in over 2 months.

I wasn't working today, so I was able to drop it off around 11 am. When I left I told myself, I should go to a movie to get my mind off missing her, to not dwell. I headed toward the movies but it was still about an hour and half before the first showing (I was going to see Spiderman 3). So I stopped off at the music store before hand and got some classical music. Then on the ride toward the movie theater itself, I was listening to my Sarah McLachlan CD.

I was listening to the song "Sweet Surrender" and played certain parts of the song over and over:

"You take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
are you an angel
am I already that gone
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here
on my knees"

As I read the lyrics right now, I just think "wow", that is how I feel about my therapist.

And for some reason I played the "are you and angel" part over and over. Needless to say, I wasn't up to taking myself to the movie. I just went home.