I feel the same exact thing with my ex.. shes cheating on me many time yet put the blame on me.. and i always forgive her and hope she wont do that again... cause she said she love me still... until today she really told me to go away from her life and never contact her again.. cause she said that would help her to move on and forget me.. cause she got someone else that she like.. and she still love me.. which doesnt make sense for me.. cause i still love her and i want her back.. so i understand the feelings of "no matter what she did.. how much she hurts me or how bad she treat me.. in the end.. all that matter is with her.. i feel someone actually said they love me and care about me and that makes me feel special" but in the end.. we should trully understand that its not healthy for us at all.. im trying my best to let her go.. its not easy at all.. but its the least we can do for ourself.. even tho i feel lonely.. i try to keep my self busy doing something so i dont get the lonely feeling that much.. maybe u could try that too