My heart goes out to you, Wing. When I was married- I had a lot of moments where I refused to go out with my ex. It was bad- I skipped weddings, Christmas parties, themed engagement parties. I just literally couldn't handle social gatherings.

Here are some of my tips:

1). Don't get wrapped up into the idea of it being a party- remind yourself that it's part of your husband's job and that you are just there to support him. If you downplay your expectations, that helps.
2). Try to find out as much as you can about the other people who will be there from your husband. Finding out who he believes is nice, who he plans on talking to, how long he plans on staying is great. What are some interesting facts that you should know about them.
3). When I go out and have a situation that is nerve wracking, I'll turn up the radio while I'm getting ready and sing along to some silly pop music. It seems to warm up my vocal cords.
4). Pick out 2-3 non-controversial and neutral stories that people can relate to. Maybe it's a story about when you noticed a badly behaved child out in public; you're trying to pick out the best online store for your holiday shopping- you have someone in your family whose difficult to select a present for and need some ideas. Pick experiences that are relatable
5). When all else fails, ask the person questions about them. Overall, people are touched if you can show an interest in them. Questions like "Are you planning on going on vacation?" (if answer is no- ask where they would love to go if they had the chance then share a place you find interesting). Favorite TV shows- think of things you're interested in.
6). Since it's your husbands job, you can maybe consider sharing 2-3 things about what your husband is currently doing/working on/thinking about.
7). Ask your husband for support. If the situation becomes too much- have a code phrase that lets him know that you're having a tough time.
8). Do something really nice for yourself the next day. Think about what you're planning on doing- just remind yourself its for an evening- it's not forever- it'll pass. For me- it would be going to the bookstore without kids.