I've suffered from MDD for over half of my life. It's almost destroyed my life several times. I've tried many, many medications that have only let me down, butI keep trudging along. I had a huge realization though. I've got to break my routine in order to get better, to fight this horrible depression. Now, this is going to be easier said than done, I realize that, but I've go to try. I've got to! Right now, I've got no other choice because everything is slowly, but surely, slipping away from me. All of my relationships are suffering tremendously from my depression and I can't let those relationships fizzle out. They're too important to me! The first routine that I need to break is that of me staying in bed or even staying in my bedroom. Just a not...I've also got agoraphobia. With that being said, it's going to be a challenge for me to move beyond the threshold of my bedroom door. I'm safe in my bedroom. In here, I can't get hurt! The rest of my house frightens me, not to mention the fear I've got about leaving the house. Ugh! Today, I'm going to try to stay out of my bedroom for the majority of the day. It's not like I don't have plenty of things to keep me busy, I just choose to ignore those things. Like I said, I'm trying to fight this! Yes, this is going to be hard for me. I'll probably cry a lot today and have some added anxiety, but I've got to try this.