You and your children are being abused and terrorized. Usually anger management doesn't work; the person with the anger doesn't believe they have a problem. These are NOT "small incidences." They are are huge red flags. If we grow up abused, we are more willing to accept abuse. I am amazed that your therapist encourages you to "work on the marriage" This is a dangerous man; you or your children could wind up in a hospital or dead. I would suggest calling the domestic violence hotline, or a shelter. His behavior isn't going to change, and it is your responsibility to protect your children; they are helpless.

http://www.domesticviolence.org/violence-wheel/

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life.

P.S. It doesn't matter if you "snap" at him. ALL of our behavior is a choice and he chooses.....to control and abuse.

Domestic Violence hotline: 800-799-7233...Please call them (make sure you are alone)