I have a hard time replying to peoples problems and indirect like problems, I wonder if they are really useful.

I think the older I am getting the more detached I am conteously to my subconteous. My conteous self and subconteous self are like two different people.

People only see the conteous side of me and haven't a clue what lies underneath except it does come out in writing like this.

I fight with myself constantly in similar ways which is my subconteous pressuring me to do things my conteous mind has to say 'no' to. My subconteous wants to be runway model thin while conteously I look at my own boney wrist, hands and fingers and go 'eew! my skin is sinking in between my tendons.'

I think I kind of understand you. Keep trying to be strong conteously. If your satisfied with yourself, weight and looks wise, maybe you can find a happy medium with yourself to maintain the weight you are. That's my focus right now and is kind of keeping me from fighting with myself.

Hanging around with my very fluffy co-workers makes me feel really good especially when they comment about me needing to put meat on my bones. My thinness is noticable.

Oryan