He is emotionally abusing me!

I know what you say. And most people tell me the same. I found myself very weak to let him go.

I'm questioning his poor decisions. All his decisions are so temporary and not good for long run. Then later on, he's stuck with the poor decision.

For example, his wife cheated on him and after a year trying, he decided one day to just leave! He said it took him just few hours to make the decision and leave without telling her!!!! Then he started dating different girls and taking them to hotels to sleep with them. He's so proud of himself for such a thing and he keeps telling me. In mean while, he couldn't afford to pay his bills while he was paying for the hotels and trips and enjoying himself! He's credit ruined big time. I saw his credit report and for more than 6 month he didn't pay even minimum payments on his cards. He had many credit cards.

Now he's coming back on track. Just since he's been dating me and I'm forcing him to be responsible.

However, every few days, he comes up with another big expenses like overseas trips with his kids or shopping expensive clothes. And we will have so much fight over that. He promised me to save money to buy a home together.

I'm even afraid to buy a house with him.

The other thing is his kids. They are 9 and 7! Very undisciplined kids. They are doing poor at school and they don't have proper manners! Poor kids, it's all because they are living in different households.

I feel so depressed for wasting around two years for him and now I think if I break up with him, I won't be able to find a decent relationship for another six month or so!

I have very little friends and I'm terrified! I moved to California for a better climate but barely were able to make friends here.

I'm getting so negative and pessimistic and I hate this stage. Also, I feel I'm so depressed. I don't see a progress with him and I get so *****y and fight and argue and nag which are not good.

I need help.

Thanks