Hi Nature, I don't think you failed at your plans at all!! I just think you haven't managed them YET!!! Although you did make some friends so good on you, shows you've got something really/seriously going for you!!! Just that you haven't found longer term friends YET, hey?

And you know, maybe you were being a bit tough on yourself, throwing those plans at yourself?? Certainly not easy plans for plenty of people, regardless. So maybe if you broke some of your plans down into smaller steps??? For example instead of "I'll make friends" perhaps start with "I'll find places to go where I can meet more people", then plan "I'll start talking to those people a bit more"...........and on it goes.........
But I'll tell you, by having managed to make shorter term friends that already puts you on the road in being able to gradually find people who are going to be real friends/longer term friends. So well done!!!!! How can you be a loser????!!!!!

With the job..........maybe start with some voluntary work??? Might help with your self esteem and something for your CV as well. It can take time to find a job, but in the meantime you might have the voluntary work to help you feel a little better about yourself????

And maybe with your dislike of compliments...........perhaps start by you seeing the good things about/in yourself............so if you can start to see/believe some of them it might be easier to accept that other people see/believe those things too??? And believe me, there will be some good things about yourself!!!

The road block you're at........I don't know whether you might want to start thinking of different things you could see as achievements.........both in your past and in where you'd like to go????
Different dreams, different things that you might be able to recognise value, meaningfulness, fulfillment in???? (Unless of course it's more a fact of working on the self esteem, insecurities that might help you in where you currently want to go???).
But what I'm meaning by that is.........re: Madonna...........for me regardless of Madonna's achievements there are people on here (not famous!!) that I can respect and admire way over and above Madonna........so sometimes a matter of perspective when you're looking at achievements or value, hey??

And just for starters in your life so far you've moved (to somewhere less familiar??), must have thrown up challenges especially with some of the things you've been struggling with..........but a year on you're still holding it together, still hanging tough, and you're even reaching out for support on here to help you improve things for yourself!!! Now that's going some, right??!!!!



Alison