I know I NEED to go inpatient but I've been putting it off for a week enjoying my manic high (usually only hypomanic and with that very irritable never happy). I am a control freak and even though it's voluntary if I leave AMA my insurance requires me to pay for the whole thing. So it's really not voluntary once I'm in.

I'm terrified about going even though my therapist and I both believe I need a break from everyone and everything and to focus on myself. However, I am a control freak and don't do well with authority. I'm afraid they'll change my meds - especially my two controlled substances - Klonopin and Ambien. My therapist told me to bring the empty bottles.

Everyone I talked to from my IOP said for a hospital it was a great place.

Any suggestions to force myself to make the call, control the panic, any good stories.

My meds are still not stabilized and neither are my moods.

Help please!!!!!