I think I can usually tell when high, because the excitement is off the scale along with the other criteria symptoms. But it's just occurred to me I might have been experiencing a mood the last few days without knowing, I don't know, is it possible for mania/hypomania to feel so subtle you don't notice it?

For the last few days I've woken up after 3-4 hours wide awake, but I've been very irritable and not elevated. I've also been plagued by such intense racing thoughts that it feels like I'm loosing my mind, I literally have no control of mind. Along with that I'm getting many ideas but it's not enjoyable. For example every single thing I watch on TV inspires me to want to do something, like I watched a documentary about Phillip Glass, the composer and had a huge urge to learn piano and have been researching music degrees and tried to get a loan for a piano (along with trying to get a loan for a boat because I was so angry with society I felt it would be the best escape route). I watched a documentary about the Rwandan Genocide and felt so traumatized and passionate that I've been thinking and researching it constantly.

When I'm out and about I see everyone with contempt, I had a massive argument with a woman on the jobcentre because she dared to speak over my very loud voice. It wasn't even an argument, it was a dressing down and I just wanted to scream at her that she doesn't know who I am or what I can do. I just feel so much better than everyone else on every level. But with massive confusion and anxiety.

I guess the confusion lies in that I don't feel increased energy or restlessness, I've just been feeling incredibly bored and a bit down with the rest of it. Any insight would be appreciated, thanks.