IMO spanking is outdated. It was a shortcut to when you had 12 children and you needed to change their behavior without them actually understanding why to do or not do something, but just obeying.

Most parents these days have the time to reason with their kids. You can actually do this on a very young kid's level and with understanding, the child knows why not to do certain things. Which of course fosters intelligence and also teaches the child that physical things are not the way you get your way.

In my country it is also illegal to hit children, I dislike the word spank because it implies that it does not "really" hurt and the child is in control of the "spanking", that it is somehow different from hitting. I don't think it is, both is the adult getting their way because they are bigger and stronger.

Kids here don't grow up worse than in any country where you "spank". People think parents here are taken away the right to teach their children but I don't see it that way. Also, of course even here you are allowed to hold you child or prevent it from getting harmed, even if you have to grab them or similar. People assume parents here just stand there passively and no, that is not the idea.

I don't think the respect for adults should come out of fear, rather should the child be able to feel it can come to the adult with anything if needed. Not using physical violence does not mean you become your child's "friend". You are still the parent. Your child has choices in some matters but you set the frames. Children often understand at a young age why rules exist, especially if the adults also live under a set of "rules" and routine.

I grew up in a weird era where children were seen as a creative power to count on and individuals who could easily be taught empathy and respect of others. It might have been a tad naive but I have to say it didn't hurt me and most gen X'ers turned out fine.