I honestly am with you on this one Fuzzy, I feel like I'm falling apart at times, physically and mentally. I have some renewed hope. We have to, even though it sounds selfish, make ourselves a priority somehow.
I'm sorry for all that you have been through. I don't know everything about your struggles but I hate to see anyone suffer. If there was a way to erase suffering it would seem wonderful. But it makes us at least be able to understand each other somewhat. I'm sorry I'm not much help. I'm trying to find ways myself to hang on. But I do get the health falling apart. It isn't too late, please don't think that way. Things physically can get worse, I'll admit that. But you are more than that... wish I had the right word but I don't.