After several days of cold, sunny weather the clouds rolled in today, so that by 3pm there was no daylight left, just a grim twilight. My mood is that of grim twilight too, endings, fear, hurt, betrayal.

From eary childhood I was troubled by a recurring nightmare, in recent months I have started to believe that the nightmares began with a real life situation. I disclosed my fears in therapy yesterday, I wanted to be told I was mistaken, I wanted to find I am afraid of a bad dream, nothing more. How did a 48 year old nightmare become more important than all my other problems? I have done nothing but spend the day searching for reasons that I am confusing fact and fantasy when I should have been looking for jobs.