I can usually tell when it seems more 'extreme' to me than normal. Although I didn't realise I've apparently been in a mixed episode for the last god knows how long, but that's what my new pdoc has said. It made sense when he explained it all to me. Telling me I'm primarily manic when I'm also getting low during being 'up' confused me for a moment. Then it all just clicked.

I'm having days where I don't sleep at all, some where I feel great then really mixed, I probably wouldn't be sleeping without any med assistance which is currently not much as I'm about to start a new regime. Get a few hours here and there, get the agitation and paranoia.

And here I am off rambling again. Still in this ******* episode. I actually wasn't aware that they could last SO LONG. Then I saw someone mention over a year in an episode. Like, whoa.

Oh, I've had times when I haven't really realised as well and a friend pointed out to me that I seemed really manic. That was about 7 months ago and I was on a low dose mood stabiliser at the time, clearly wasn't fixing it.