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sunrise said:
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Now tomorrow is the next meeting... and then 2 weeks. He has not decided how often he will see me after that. Like... I am not sure I have any input....
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No wonder you feel powerless, SecretGarden. You have no input. He makes the decisions. Where are you in this relationship? ((((hugs))))
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Sister and Sunrise.... I started on this at the end of the session last time and ....he "had to stop." So I will bring it up tomorrow. I think that there is a fear that I will become too dependent on him and then he feels the need to distance himself. In the way distant past there was a time that I called him twice in one weekend. He sent me away to my group leader for 6-8 weeks. Talk about powerless.
I told him this time that I wish to be coming more often now as I feel like we are making headway.... He said he has not decided what we will do yet. I have gone every other week for several years til the last 6 or so weeks I have gone every week. (I have been in a depressive crisis and starting a new med. We have also been in confrontation too..which adds to the crisis in my book.) He says there is no good time for this... and I guess so. Anyhow ... making headway now.
As part of this new regime through this confrontation-a-rama perhaps I will have more say.... Sometimes I feel like a child...though he said that my adult was there most of the time last session.
I go again in the morning. Wish me luck. Feeling a little distanced and melancholy this evening I suppose. Last week was productive... hope for the same this week.
Also powerless is a familiar emotion I historically had with my parents... I have for the most part taken my power back with them.
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