Thank you so much for your reply guys.

Why I have been trying so hard is because I see great potential in our relationship. We are both very artsy (I am an artist), spiritually inclined, we both have deep interest in trying to learn human psychology, we're both very passionate, dreamy and romantic. When we are doing good, it is like magic.

Both of us come from abusive families. My dad is an alcoholic and a verbal abuser, his dad is violent and abusive with his mom. So I have a soft spot for him for what he has been through his entire life. I deeply understand that what he is really looking for is to be loved and somehow I haven't been able to show him that I truly love him. I tend to always defend myself whenever he disagrees with something I do. For eg., I watch porn on occasions and he asked me not to. I tried to make him understand and defend it. I am not sure if it is the right or the wrong approach but this is how it has been. He says that I always feel the need to argue and can never give in to him for the sake of love even once without any defense.

He does try to make my life better too. He encourages me to study further, do better in my work as I tend to procrastinate a lot and be very lazy, make more friends, exercise, take care of my health. He even left his old house and moved to a very far away location just so he could be closer to me.

On one hand, I see that he loves me a lot. On the other hand, he has this tendency of exploding on me which makes me sometimes fear him. It is like he is two very different people. I don't know if he is behaving this way because of his depression and can genuinely get better with help or if he is going to be like this forever.