Ok, so he called back. It was a gorgeous message. I had told him 'call back if you want, or don't.' He knows that I get weird with him calling back and the possiblity of me having to talk with him over the phone.

So I get my voicemail and he said....

I got your message. I wasn't sure whether it was the right thing to call you back, but I wanted to call you back. I wanted to let you know that I realize that this is a difficult situation; that starting the internship is scary... so I'm just calling, hoping that you're hanging in there, and that we'll talk about it on Friday.

I loved it because it was so human. He admitted that he didn't know whether or not it would be right to call back-- that he didn't know what I would want... but he chose to call. When he said "but I wanted to call you back" he placed emphasis on the word 'wanted.'

I must have listened to it twelve-thousand times.

I left him a message tonight telling him thank you. I told him that I was very triggered today at my internship while working in the mood disorders unit. (I didn't expect that reaction, and was fighting back tears-- so much emotion going on there... hitting so close to home, feeling their pain, coming to terms with the fact that only a couple of months ago, I went through a severe depressive episode that was enough to put me back where they are now, memories of my own hospital stay years ago, etc). I told him that I wanted to talk with him on Friday, and that I did not SI last night. And I thanked him again. And told him again just how much his message meant to me.

I can barely wait until Friday.