When I raised my daughter, I did not want her to fear me. I did have to be stern at times and had a naughty spot because she needed to understand that being naughty and disrespectful would result in not being included. After she was put in the naughty spot, which she hated, I would have her talk about what she did wrong. However, I always told her I loved her and I also wanted her to learn that when others are bad to her that she could choose to do the same as I had done. I also made sure that I would get her to say "why" she misbehaved too.

Children can do a lot of naughty things if they don't have a parent that pays attention to them and spends quality time with them. If one is going to have a child, it is important to understand the responsibility that comes with that choice. Choosing not to hit a child doesn't mean a home run when it comes to parenting because it is important that a child understand good behavior verses bad behavior. It is important to have a structure that includes rewards and discoveries too. It is also important to encourage a child to think about "who" they are, what they would like to be. That means taking time to explore together about what kinds of things people do that can be interesting. It is important to read to a child and plan on taking the child places where the child can see people doing things.

Parents tend to tell children to go do things like "go play, go do your homework, go do this or that because Mommy or Daddy is busy". Parents forget to help a child gain a sense of "purpose", they tend to think a child just does that all on their own somehow.
Often a parent will look on a child as needing to "please the parent" too. It is so important to think about the messages being sent to a child in that the child doesn't grow up thinking they gain their sense of worth in having to "please" the parent and have the same likes as a parent, but instead be encouraged to self discover and be their own person.

Hitting a child only teaches that child that the solution is in hitting others or being aggressive. If a child hits the parent, the parent doesn't have to respond by hitting the child back either. What the child is really doing when they hit a parent is they are saying that he/she is there and please pay attention to him/her.

The young adults that end up doing things that harm others in big ways are "lonely" children that have "years" built up where they lacked attention.

A parent should not just give a child "things" either, "things" cannot replace quality time spent with a parent.