Ok, then you have a child with special needs. It depends on what a child's special needs are, some special needs require medications, some require special help with behavioral specialists.

I raised a child who struggled with dyslexia, if she got frustrated with learning or achieving, she could have tantrums. I am not going to hit her because of that, instead I sit with her and have helped her calm down. I also had to learn that if I gave her a list of things to do, she was only going to remember a few and simply not remember the other things, it would have been "wrong" for me to spank her for that and think she was lying when she really did not remember.

I grew up with an older brother who had ADHD badly, he was severely punished and hit way too much, it only made him worse and even now as a man pushing 60 will suck his thumb in his sleep when he is stressed, that sure goes all the way back for him, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was treated badly "abused" for something he could not help.

I did not want any hitting in my home and my daughter knew that, yet she also knew she had to behave too.

Some children can be challenging, yes I know, so it's important to get to the bottom of "why".