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sister said:

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The transference is out in the open now. He asked what I got from making phone call to him between sessions and I told him that I needed to feel safe and sometimes just needed to hear his voice to experience that safety.

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Yay! How does it feel now?

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I am having trouble touching my anger. T gave me a pillow to throw but I couldn't manage to throw it very far, so when it landed right by my chair, I had to pick it up and set it correctly on the couch (my ocd) and T made a comment about me having to fix things. (LOL)

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Hehe, I don't mean to laugh at you, but this is just so cute. My T would never give me something to throw, not even a cotton ball, lol... too much bottled up anger that he knows about... I'd end up socking him in the eye or something... We have a thing in which I talk about what I want to throw... Whenever I get mad, he asks, "Should I duck?"

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Exhausted and somewhat sad all day today, still in a fog, but it is lifting slowly. I really wish I didn't dissociate so often.

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But you did great work. Congratulations on trusting and opening up.