Hi Fuzzy, really sorry you're struggling so much
If you want to talk about it a bit more here for you, but for now just sending you some links I hope will help just a little, right now.
And note the last two are specifically (!!) for you:





And btw, less of the unendearing child!!! The person/people who've said that no doubt didn't truly know you, right??!!! And the answer to that is......."No"!!!

Alison