You must have a good husband. I think most people can't stand being around someone with a problem so you must connect with him well.

Getting thru the modern world is a constant task of showing your true feelings then hiding them and it's like an art. Some people are really good at it and others aren't. In some places (ie. workplace) you really are not allowed to show certain feelings and then you have to bring them back out in your personal life. It's draining and difficult to do this around the clock.

How and why did your therapist abandon you (if you feel inclined to say so)? I've never really heard of that happening. I know Doctors know how to cover themselves well and if they've had enough of something or want to avoid something for some reason they're good at expressing it.

Alan Watts (1915-1973; Professor, Eastern Philosopher, Lecturer) made a number of great lectures. He covers all sorts of subjects in the modern world. He talks about persona and the true self and what he calls "The game of hide and seek" with ones self where the true self emerges then disappears (due to any number of things: expectations, taboos, myths, religion, social standards, etc.) He was very good and was an eloquent speaker. He is dead serious with his explanations, detail and insight and he defines what reality is in the modern world. (Most of his lectures are on youtube: Game of Hide and Seek - Alan Watts, What is reality - Alan Watts ) youtube: com./watch?v=um6SX3ZgJRs, youtube: com/watch?v=v90O2aeW4KA

I've spent a lot of time at South Jersey shore (Ocean City NJ - dry, family town). There is no other feeling like it. There's nothing like being surrounded by nature.

There's nothing like going to a concert to allow yourself to feel. I went to several concerts in October (Judas Priest x2, Robin Trower) and it was fantastic to experience all of that emotion and energy. I felt refreshed afterwards.