A couple of my father's favorite quips:

"What the hell's the matter with ya, Bud (me)?

"If you were as low in stature as you are in character, you could walk under a snake's belly with a stovepipe hat on!"

I'm now in my mid 60's &, in my mind, I still hear him reciting these lines. My emotions are an embarrassment to me. I just feel sorry for myself. Other people have REAL problems...