Sooo....as I have mentioned in other posts, I didn't understand the whole subsituting sugar for actual food.....before.....because now, I understand completely why people do it. Even I have fallen victim to it. I deprive myself all the time of the simplicity of food and eating that all my body craves is the fatty, carb-covered, good food that is completely and utterly unhealthy for you. So I binge. BIG.
Today for instance, I had in about an hour period of time, a bagel with cream cheese, strawberry and creme frozen blend, chik-fil-a salad, large fry, chicken sandwich, chips ahoy package and lots of fruit punch. All of which has ended in the toilet. I was on the verge of puking as I was eating all of this and yet, I still ate it. (all the while i was at work)

Daily now, I eat jolly ranchers, starbursts, little things like that to fill my sugar cravings. It is absolute killer. This weekend is my senior prom, I want to feel skinny for it, I want to look good since there is now added pressure of me being on prom court and then in 2 weeks is graduation! I want to look perfect for all of these events, and all tho whatever I eat gets thrown up and I eat small amounts of sugary substitutes, I feel bigger than ever when I have recently lost 15 pounds......and the weight is the same.....Why do i feel like thiiiiiss iitttt suuucckkksss. I'd kill for a break right now. I want to lose weight more than anything but it seems that i cant stop the binging right now, I dont have the will power to just flat out starve.....