Hi everyone, thank you so much for the support. This has not been easy for sure. This was the only girl I had ever met in my life that I was sure about wanting to start a relationship with. And on top of all of that, I ran into her at a party last night randomly. I was working the bar and she came up and so I poured her a beer. She was very nice and we casually said it was good to see one another but that was it. It was weird since she probably could guess I was bummed about her not being available, but I just hid that and smiled back. Just seeing her face and her shy cute demeanor, well, it definitely did not help with the healing process. Only made it worse. As tempting as it is to keep thinking about her and wanting to keep running into her, it is not healthy for me. While I enjoyed seeing her last night, even if briefly, it only served to mess with my head and further upset me in the end. I spent the rest of the night drinking not out of fun and good times but just as a way to cope. I don't know if I would call it punishing myself, but I sure didn't care how awful I would feel in the morning. I am mainly just troubled because I feel I have nothing else to look forward to in life right now. I'm graduating with a useless political science degree, and to add to that, I don't even like politics at all. I have no job prospects. I was rejected from every internship I applied for. I turned in an unimpressive grad school application, and overall don't know what I'm doing with my life. She was like the one light that might have made things better. Maybe this is just my angst and sadness talking, but I really do hope I can move on at some point.