The thing about the T who had a husband who died was something I got to know about, it wasntīt about T of my own. I agree with you that it would in some way be difficult to bring my own issues up after getting to know such things about a T. Itīs then up to the T, if he or she thinks they manage and they not cancel the appointment, youīll have to try to act as usual I think. I donīt say it would be easy though.
I agree with you that cold facts as I mentioned for example where they live doesnīt say anything about if theyīre happy or not. Itīs just getting me and probably others too when looking up their T:s some kind of perspective. Itīs also a way to create a relationship thatīs a bit more balanced as a T gets to know very much about me as a client. They have to of course but anyway.
I think itīs curiosity to some extent, as you could feel curious about some other person you donīt really have access to ask questions to, for example a celebrity Of course some clients donīt feel this curiosity at all. This info is no determinant in any way but it gives me a broader picture of the T and I can use this info together with the info she gives me herself.
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Originally Posted by brillskep
The husband dying and therapist still practicing sounds intense. I remember my therapist awkwardly telling me in passing about one of his cats dying and that seemed to be a pretty vulnerable moment, I can't imagine what impact knowing about a therapist's spouse's death would have. It's a really big loss and personally I'd have trouble bringing up my own average issues if I were told my therapist was facing something this huge.
As for living alone, that sounds like judging the quality of another's life to me. I mean, living alone doesn't have to be miserable. For example, at the moment I'm living alone by my own choice, I'm very happy with this at this point in my life, and I would not want it any other way. But a few days ago, a neighbor whose long-time wife had passed away recently told me how very lonely it is for him and wondered how I manage. I don't think that cold data like this can tell you how happy someone is, but on the other hand you are spot on that therapists don't have the perfect, flawless life that many clients imagine.
It's interesting that you look up all this info though. I wonder if it's just curiosity or if you feel like it helps in more ways to know these things about prospective therapists.
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