Quote:
Originally Posted by CANDC
IG, I remember how much your therapist means to you from other posts you made. It is okay that you feel close to your t. It shows that you find caring and compassion there. There is nothing wrong with that.
I get feeling really sad too when you say you must give the scarf back. I feel that is the uncaring mother character in me saying I can't have caring or compassion, punishing me to give it back. I want to say no to her - I just want to put my foot down and say enough is enough. You have run my life and made me suffer but you cannot make me do that anymore. You don't have power over me anymore.
I hope I haven't triggered you, but it really makes me indignant to hear that hard cold voice say I can't have a gift of caring and compassion.
You are right, if you make all those changes and follow the cold hard voice inside that says the therapist cannot be caring and compassionate, it will change therapy.
We all have that voice that wants to rule our lives like a tyrant and it will if we let it. Don't let it snuff out any caring and compassion in your life.
It is okay to feel attachment to the only person that you know who shows you caring and compassion no matter what you reveal to them.
The longing for more is the human condition. We want more than a person can give us. It may not be ingratitude, just this deep deep longing in our hearts. Some say that is the human condition. Some say this is what brings us to a better place. Home.
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Thank you for your post, and no I am not triggered
I am actually still very stable, and thinking about this in a calm way, even though I am sad.
I just am so confused. Last week, my T took lots of photos for me from a book, and one of them was the saying-
"When I loved myself enough, I stopped settling for too little"
But how do you even know what is too little? My relationship with her, for some mysterious reason, feels like it can't ever be enough. Not at all her fault. My stuff, obviously. But why don't I feel this way with friends? Why why why?! Is it just because I can call them at 3am if I had an emergency and that 'proves' they care about me? I dunno.
The bit in bold, I think is very wise and true, in fact it's kind of what my brother and my mother argue back at me when I bleat about how lonely I am. They'll say we are all alone really, when it comes down to it.
But why am I severely not ok with it, to the point where it contaminates everything in daily life, and everyone else seems to be fine with it? And it's not strictly true anyway - my attachment injuries mean it is impossible for me to ever have a romantic relationship again, so I don't allow myself to think about even looking for one. But that makes life more lonely.