Sounds like you can use some support. I've found that the folks who post here are supportive and understanding, so coming here should be helpful. We can't really diagnose you here but opinions can be offered.
Have you considered discussing these feelings with a doctor or therapist?
Welcome aboard, I hope you find the help you're looking for here.
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* Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia
* Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
* Hoarder
* Fibromyalgia
* Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes
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"I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world."