Thanks everyone I hope I'm able to find something that will do something but I'm not gonna hold my breath over it at this point :/ I hope to never be hospitalized against my will, but sometimes I wish I was. I don't really understand why I would want that, though. Maybe just feeling desperate.

I've been to group therapy, DBT and individual counselling so far, the latter which I'm still in an hour every 5 weeks or so. That's about all I have at my disposal as of now. I have no other options here.

Also, my medications are strictly limited to what my pDoc has in Dr. samples or what is very inexpensive (like I'm on Trazodone for sleep which only costs me a total of $5.50/month). I have no way of paying for my medications and I can't get any coverage for it. I'm beginning to run out of options there, too. :/